Fox Mulder and A.W. Tozer...Kindred Spirits??

One of the most influential books in my Christian life was The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer. In it, Tozer challenged me to quit faking desire for God (my words not his). "When you are full", I was admonished, "rejoice"; but when empty...admit it, fall to my knees and beg God for a spark...for a drip...for the desire to desire Him. My favorite quote in his book is this:

"O God I have tasted Thy goodness,and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more...I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee, I long to be filled with longing, I thirst to be thirsty..."

It's not hard to see how this book can change the life of any sincere believer. It changed mine. I never approached God the same way after reading it. The thing I like most about this sentiment of desiring to desire God is it's abject humility and admission of failure. I have been in the place before (as I suspect all who read this have) where I allowed my heart to harden and grew cold toward God and the things of God.  It's a lonely place.  But in His endless mercy He brought me to that place where I recognized the hardness and knew that I had no desire for God.  That recognition for me...that I did NOT desire Him, but WANTED to desire him... was paramount in it led me to pray the above prayer.  Praise Him.  Even the father of the demon-possessed boy in Mark 9:24 confessed his unbelief even after admitting he believed and saw his son healed.  Jesus knew his heart, and He knows ours.

Now, I was not a The X-Files enthusiast; (in case you don't know or forgot, The X-Files was the sci-fi thriller that was so popular in the 90's) however, I did manage to catch a few episodes and was always drawn to the poster on Fox Mulder's wall above his desk in that dark FBI basement that was his office.  It read, "I WANT TO BELIEVE".   This is the secular version of Tozer's sentiment, I think.

Now I know the show was fiction, but that poster broke my heart every time I saw it. Because even though I know the  character was fictional, there are thousands (millions?) of people who are NOT fictional, who share that same open-ended longing for truth.  There is the desire, without any care of the object of that desire.  You could place aliens or a ham sandwich as the object of desire just as easily as God.  But for our "whatever" post-modern society...it's a start.  I wonder if God looks down on people who desire to believe in something larger than themselves, who, while not there yet, have begun the journey of pursuing, and is pleased.  I don't know the answer to that. I just wonder if maybe Tozer would have seen the desire to believe by the sincere unbeliever (Mulder) and have saw the slight beginning of a spark, a drip,...a desire to desire God.  I think it's important in our society, that we recognize the Mulders in our circles of influence and "always be prepared to give an answer...for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15 (partial).