Blue Ridge Mountains

Blue Ridge Mountains
Showing posts with label Waiting on God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Waiting on God. Show all posts

Monday, August 22, 2011

God is Stomping On My Dreams

The world can be divided up into two types of people.  Those who are dreamers and those who like to snatch those dreams, throw them into the dirt and jump up and down on them in the name of pragmatism.  I guess you figured out which half I am. ;>) (And I married the other half...although the stomping on my dreams thing was a slight exaggeration).  To borrow a phrase from Asian philosophy, she is the Yin to my Yang.  The Laurel to My Hardy.  The gravy on my biscuits (Ok...that one was weird).  But in the grand scheme of life her ilk, the pragmatists, have it easy.  Here's why. (But first pause to enjoy this mildly related cartoon)
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Most pragmatists are even-keeled, steady Eddies who seem to take all that life throws at them in stride. They are typically content, even-tempered, and achieve many of their goals.  (and Yes...most of us dreamers wish we were more like them, but will never admit it).  As for us dreamers, disappointment and frustration are a constant companion.  Our life is ridden on the roller coaster ride of hope and despair where crushed and broken dreams are a fact of life.  Period. Because let's face it.  We live in a sinful world that has failed the hopeful since the Garden.  When the infant artistry of Creation became thorns, and thistles, and work.  When all was lost for several thousand years.  Am I painting a bleak picture?  Are you thinking to yourself, "What a miserable, glass-half-empty, cynic this guy is." If you are, you'd be right. (If you aren't then you must not be paying attention)  I have been called that more than once in my life.

Not that I don't have every reason to be cynical.  I have dreamed more dreams in my life only to see them fizzle, fade, or be utterly annihilated. And I'm not talking about self-serving, it's-all-about-me, show me the money, American Idol fantasies. No, I'm talking about things that I know God placed on my heart.  Psalm 37 states, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires [dreams] of your heart."  I chase after the Lord and He gives me dreams to follow.  And follow I do.  With passion and zeal and reckless abandon.  Then God snatches them away.  He breaks my heart.

When God commanded Abraham to slay his son Isaac, Abraham obeyed.  God gave him his dream, he was now taking it back.  But it doesn't say he was happy about it. I wonder how long Abraham held his son just to feel him in his arms alive one last time- the motion of his breaths, the feel of his dusty hair brushing on his father's sunburned face,  Isaac's arms clasped tightly around his fathers shoulders tighter and tighter as he begins to understand. I bet he wanted to hold him for days and days.  His only son.  I wonder what the raw, hideous emotion of that moment was like as Abraham was raising the sacrificial dagger to do what only the pagans did (sacrifice their sons to their gods). I can picture Isaac wailing, screaming, with tears and sweat soaking him and the stone altar he's on for fear of his life, terrorized as he watches his father about to plunge the knife into him. I see Abraham, sobbing uncontrollably, confused, and angry, and with nothing but the fear of God left to move him, he commits himself to God.  Of course we know how the story ends.    

If that is the ultimate test of my devotion to my Saviour, I predict more testing and dream crushing in my future.  But in my 23 years of walking (sometimes scraping along on my belly or dragging on my hindparts) with Jesus, I am learning more and more that the ultimate dream is what's on the other side of that torn curtain.  It is He Himself.  Am I yearning for my dream or dreaming of Him?  How often do I cling to the dream and take my gaze off the Dream Giver?  For me, a little less now (I hope) than 23 long years ago.  How about you?
 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Getting Over My Love of the Word "THEN"

One day a man was talking to God.  He said, "Lord, is it true that with you, a thousand years is like a second?", God replied, "Yes, that is true".  So the man, thinking for a while, asks God, "So if that is true, then is it also true that with you a penny is like a million dollars?" God replied, "Yes, that's logical".  So the man replies, "Then, Lord, may I have a penny?". "Yes", God said,  "In a second."
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Please don't scrutinize this joke on it's scriptural accuracy, but it does illustrate an area God convicts me of (too many times it seems).  I was convicted the other day about my love for the word "then".  As in if I do X, then I will get Y.  When I do something I expect a result...NOW. Not in a few minutes, not even a few seconds. (Remember waiting for a page to load using AOL with your phone line plugged into you modem!).

  I think it's a common weakness of man and very common in our postmodern, gotta have it now society.  I mean, growing up as a child of the sock tie, big hair 80's was bad enough.  In the 80's we got VCR's so now we could watch movies whenever we wanted, we got microwave ovens so now we didn't have to wait so long for our Orville Reddenbacher popcorn, we got cable TV, so entertainment was always at our fingertips.  No more snowed out TV screens after the 700 Club was over (remember that?).

Fast forward to now.  Our internet is lightning fast, movies on our computer, we hit a link and BAM!...there it is.  We don't even have to wait to get home to check our email or go to a store to shop. We can live our life from our smart phone.  That's if your willing to pay $200 for the latest and greatest, $60 for a text and data plan, etc.  If you're willing to pay, you don't have to wait for practically anything anymore.  Thank the Lord the sun still rises and sets at the same pace since Creation.  We still have to wait for time.

For me this "weakness" also crosses over into my life with Christ.  One of my favorite verses has always been Romans 12:1,2. "...offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God...do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is..."

Did you see that?  There's that word "THEN" again.  I think if I do the first part of the verse, THEN I will know God's will.  It does say that, and I do believe it.  But instead of thanking God for His promise, I find myself having lofty expectations, or using it to bargain with God (HA...if that was even possible) or blaming him when I don't see the results that I expected or not fast enough.  Again, I don't think I'm alone in this, but I sometimes wonder if this is a problem that has become more pronounced in this day and age.  It behooves us to learn to wait on Him. Remember 2 Peter 3: 8,9.
"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you..."
One of my favorite activities is camping (with three boys it's a lot of fun) and I'm grateful that there are still places to go where you can't bring a computer, cell phone, or TV (unless you camp in an RV, which I don't) and can S-L-O-W  D-O-W-N.   As for me I have seen God mature me in this area over the last 20 or so years, but waiting for God sometimes can be excruciatingly hard.  I trust that He loves me, that He indeed has a plan for my life, that He is aware of my circumstances and cares deeply.  Sometimes that knowledge of His faithfulness is all I have.  It's all I need.


So does anybody else struggle with impatience with God? I'd love to hear about it?