Things I Wish Were In The Bible

I know I'm treading a dark and sordid path, by even suggesting this topic.  But it's too late to turn back now.  Have you ever thought what life would be like if certain things were in the Bible?  I swear I remember my Mom telling me, when I didn't want to brush my teeth, that I had to because "it was in the Bible." ..."Really?", so off I ran to brush my teeth so I wouldn't go to hell.  (My suspicions  about dentists was correct!).  Of course this is NOT true....but what if it was.  (Boy, would it make parenting easier.)

What if, say, the Bible said, "Thou shall not jump on your Dad's stomach to wake him up" or how about, "Do NOT flush your toothbrush down the toilet...nothing but TP."  A few words about courteous driving, mandatory raises (greater than the cost of living raise),  people being required to respond to your email within 24 hours, and in somewhere in big bold letters "PETA...Lay Off.  I Created Animals, I Think They're Great.  But People Are More Important Than Animals Because People Are Created In My Image" - God.  One can dream, right?

If you read Leviticus and Numbers, there are commands about  tassels on garments, hair loss, mold in your house, and a host of other rules in regard to everyday living.  Surely, a few words about farting at the dinner table, on your brothers head (although I think that's OK...it is hilarious), keeping the Lego's out of Dad's path when barefoot, or eating all your vegetables would have been nice.

Of course, what makes me think we would obey those rules, when we have such a hard time obeying what God DID write about.  Maybe I'll read more about that hair loss part.