Living Out of the Deep Part of Your Heart

OK...last re-post (at least for a while), but I think this is a good one, and if it makes a difference I have been struggling with this very thing - listening to God when it horrifies me.  If any one reads this and feels led to pray for me I'd appreciate it.   New post tomorrow. 

~ Keith

 

I remember the first time I played in front of a filled church.  I sweat so hard that my hands became sticky and could not slide up and down the fret board freely.  The lights in my eyes, the symphony of all the instruments playing differently, but somehow coming together like a tapestry, hearing my guitar...MY GUITAR...as I was playing, pouring forth from the monitor. It was quite surreal and I really could not believe that I was actually playing for the worship team...at long last playing for the Lord. It was only a month prior that for some inane reason I walked up to the front of the church after the service and asked the director of music, Tim, if he needed a rhythm guitarist  as a substitute when the main guy was not available.  (I almost snickered that I could seriously be doing this).  He could not have known how nervous I was and merely said to show up Wednesday night to try out. And amazingly, I did.  That was it.  For the first time I had heard a whisper from the deep part of my heart - and did not shrink back.

    "Live out of the deep part of your heart." This is not an exact quote, but I owe the sentiment to John Eldridge of Wild At Heart fame.  From Genesis to Revelation are countless stories of men and women doing insane things that make no sense, conform to no standard of logical thought,  that invite jeering by friends and family for doing the thing and in todays world would possibly even be illegal.  It can be discouraging and exhilarating and in my experience-terrifying. You see I love to play guitar and worship God, but am deathly afraid of playing in front of people...did I mention that it terrifies me?

 

Living by faith and not by sight can be a terrifying thing.  

      It’s having to say  simply, “Because God told me to”, when cornered by friends and family who demand to know “WHY…WHY would you do such a foolish, reckless thing”.  You are told to think of your family, think of your future, think of your career, think of your reputation.  The only defense you have is that “God told me to”.  Abraham left his homeland anyway...would we?  But God does not yell, scream, try to win you over with feverish persuasion…He merely whispers…His vision…to the deep part of your heart.  You will get no reminder, no strategic plan, no proof…just a whisper.  (Just ask Elijah in I Kings 19.)  And you will get a choice.   

You will get no reminder, no strategic plan, no proof…just a whisper...then a choice

     So what choice will we make? Will you listen to that faintness in your heart?  You will know it’s real the moment you even begin to consider it because the whisper will grow louder, you will begin to feel excitement welling up from within you, you will feel scared, alive even.  And you will say “Yes”.  And right after you say “Yes” to God…you will think to yourself “WHAT AM I DOING?!”…You are now in unfamiliar territory, uncharted waters.  It is both exhilarating and horrifying at the same time.  Welcome to the wonderful world of walking by faith and not by sight.  You are now on your way to living out of the deep part of your heart like God designed you and the full life which He has prepared you for.

      ...and as for my guitar playing.  I still get nervous, but a wise man once told me to always play for an audience of One. And that has made all the difference.