Being a guy has it's advantages. I mean where do I start? Allow me to give you my top
1. We typically age better than women and if we don't, we don't care, gray is fine if you're a guy.
2. Cooler toys. Let's not even argue this point, you'll only embarrass yourselves.
3. We can drive with the windows rolled down and NOT worry about our hair.
4. No lines at stadium restrooms.
5. We can do stupid things, like mow the lawn barefoot, poke sticks into hornet's nests, or jump railroad track "ramps" with our trucks...and it's just "boys being boys." Have you ever heard of a girl walk outside wearing her underwear on the outside of her pants and someone retort, "Oh, that's just a girl being a girl." Of course you haven't, because it does not exist. It's like a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card for being an idiot. For men only.
6. No drama.
7. A meaningful conversation can have less than 25 words.
8. 15 minutes with a gas-powered leaf blower is better than an hour on a psychologists couch. And cheaper.
It's this last point I want to highlight. I don't know how to explain it properly, and I can't prove it, but every guy needs a little "quiet" time behind a power tool once in a while. For me personally I prefer my gas-powered Poulan leaf blower. First off, it's a tool, and one of my favorites for the sole reason that within seconds of firing her up I see results. Instant gratification, baby!
Secondly, there's something to be said about the lone chore of blowing leaves. No one to talk to you, no TV, phone, or internet to distract you. Just you, your blower, and nature. Give me some ear muffs, safety glasses, and a yard full of leaves, and I have just found an oasis from the tensions of life, that outside of a football game, Swedish massage, or sunny beach is without peer.
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Give me some ear muffs, safety glasses, and a yard full of leaves, and I have just found an oasis from the tensions of life
__________________________________The gentle hum of the engine, the dizzying march of the leaves off my now clean driveway, is an escape. From life. From the argument I just had with my wife, my boy's leaving little pieces of duct tape on the carpet, work with all its stress, not to mention in-laws, and lost bills, the annoying neighbors, politicians, natural disasters, and the hornets nest...all just float away in a cloud of leaves. Fifteen minutes later. A new man emerges.
Ladies, you heard it first here. Buy your man a leaf blower. Administer once or twice weekly. No exceptions (except in the winter of course, but then there's football). Earmuffs required.
